How did you choose what you wore?
TOBY: I wore a diamond necklace my parents bought me when I was a little girl but have been saving and holding until my wedding. My mom also loaned me these beautiful pearl and diamond earrings to wear. I wanted my jewelry to feel timeless and blend in with the ensemble.
As for my wedding dress, that’s a much longer story. I had always dreamed of wearing my mother’s wedding dress at my own wedding, but it had been misplaced for years. I had essentially written off as lost forever. With that reality, I worked with Mark Ingram Atelier to design a white lace Mira Zwillinger gown. However, at the 11th hour, after many exhaustive searches of my grandmother’s house and ours, I was able to find my mother’s wedding dress — hidden and tucked away in a random closet in the attic. The now 40 year old dress (my two aunts had also worn it) was yellow, with very fragile lace, and in need of pretty serious restoration. Jonathan Scheer of J. Scheer & Co was the only person who we trusted to restore it with the same precision and care he and his team bring to his restoration work for the MET Costume Institute and the Louvre. My mom and I kept the dress discovery a secret to everyone, so it was only when my dad prepared to walk me down the aisle at the ceremony did he and my family recognize the origins of the dress from decades before. Given the broader circumstances in which we were being married, wearing “something borrowed” that stood as a symbol of intergenerational connection and resilience was particularly meaningful. And given the delicateness of the garment, I was able to switch into the Zwillinger gown for the reception and let loose a bit — creating a “something new” moment with a dress of my own. I hope one day my daughter will want to wear either.